TGIF: Coping with a Loved One’s Serious Illness
This article is part of our weekly TGIF newsletter series. To get these in your inbox weekly, sign up below:
Dear Community,
Welcome to our weekly well-being column TGIF - Your Weekly Reset. Each week I will answer questions from you (or topics of interest!), bringing in themes of mental wellness-related tools, reminders of gratitude, innovative solutions, and a summary of my own feelings related to the topic.
Submit your questions as often as you’d like and I’ll be sure to address them in our upcoming columns.
This week’s question comes from someone struggling not to drown in life’s challenges:
Hello! I would love resources on coping with / acknowledging but not drowning in your own or a family member’s serious illness.
Dear Reader,
Life has this uncanny way of throwing curveballs our way when we least expect it. One of the most challenging curveballs is when a beloved family member falls ill. It's like being caught in a whirlwind of emotions, uncertainties, and tough decisions.
I’ve found clients’ most pressing concern is how not to lose themselves when they are under the pressure of coping with someone else’s illness. They face guilt for even trying to enjoy themselves, laugh, or have their own good days as they are witnessing a loved one’s suffering.
While I can't promise to make it all sunshine and rainbows, I can offer some helpful ways to navigate this, especially difficult time.
Hold Hands, Open Hearts: Nurturing Your Loved One
When a family member is dealing with a serious illness, it's natural to feel a rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes, just being present can be the most powerful thing you can offer. Hold their hand, be a shoulder to lean on, and create moments that matter. Share stories, laugh over old memories, and let them know they're loved, regardless of the circumstances.
Self-Care Beyond the Basics: Holistic Healing
Amid the chaos, it is easy to neglect yourself. But remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. Embrace holistic self-care practices that rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit and do so without guilt.
Mindful Moments: Take a breather. Find a quiet spot, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Mindfulness can help anchor you in the present moment and alleviate stress.
Nature's Embrace: Spend time in nature. Take a leisurely stroll, sit by a tranquil lake, or hike a scenic trail. Nature has a remarkable way of soothing the soul.
Nourishing Nutrition: Fuel your body with wholesome, nutrient-rich foods. Eating well can boost your energy and strengthen your resilience.
Gentle Movement: Engage in light exercises like yoga or tai chi. These activities promote flexibility, reduce tension, and promote a sense of calm.
Aromatherapy and Essential Oils: Harness the power of scent to uplift your mood. Lavender, chamomile, and eucalyptus are known for their calming properties.
Creative Outlet: Whether it's painting, writing, or playing a musical instrument, creative expression can be a cathartic release for your emotions.
Weathering the Emotional Storm: Mental Fitness Skills
Your emotional well-being matters just as much as your physical health. Here are some skills to help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster:
Talk It Out: Share your feelings with a friend, therapist, or support group. Verbalizing your emotions can provide relief and create a sense of connection.
Set Boundaries: Understand your limits and communicate them to others. It's okay to decline additional responsibilities if they're causing you undue stress.
Accept Your Emotions: Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions, from anger to sadness. It's all part of the healing process. Remember to try and welcome the feelings and feeling into them instead of repressing what you’re feeling.
Practice Gratitude: Cultivate a daily gratitude practice. Focusing on the positives in your life can shift your perspective and improve your mood. Despite things feeling really hard right now, there is good to be found, sometimes in the most simple and tiny ways. Look for it.
Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings. Journaling can provide clarity, help you process your emotions, and track your progress over time. Create a ritual with a pen and paper to just let the feelings pour out of you, unfiltered.
Mind-Body Practices: Engage in activities like meditation and deep breathing. These practices can help regulate your emotions and reduce anxiety.
Creating a Support Network: Lean on Others
Remember, you're not in this alone. Building a support network can provide you with the strength to cope during challenging times:
Family and Friends: Reach out to your loved ones. Let them know what you're going through and how they can support you.
Online Communities: Join online groups or forums where individuals are facing similar situations. Sharing experiences can provide comfort and a sense of belonging.
Professional Help: Seeking therapy or counseling can offer you a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies.
Seeking Moments of Joy: Finding Light in the Darkness
While it's important to acknowledge the gravity of the situation, it's equally vital to seek out moments of joy and laughter. Engage in activities that bring you happiness, whether it's watching a favorite movie, playing with a pet, or exploring a new hobby.
Embracing the Unknown: A Journey of Resilience
Navigating a family member's serious illness is a journey of resilience. It's a process that demands strength, patience and a deep well of compassion.
Remember, dear reader, you're stronger than you know. The path ahead might be uncertain, but with a supportive network, self-care, and a heart full of love, you're equipped to face whatever challenges come your way. Hold onto hope, and may your journey be one of healing, growth, and boundless strength.
Hugs hugs hugs. You’ve got this.
Kerry
