TGIF | A Calming Practice
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Dear Community,
How are you? What a week here in Michigan. Snow storms and polar temps, schools canceling, and forced indoor time. Oddly enough, despite an unexpected, pretty chaotic 5 day weekend at home, I felt calm.
I shared with my therapist this week that despite there being a lot of things I could be worrying about (global and personal), I have this curious feeling of, “I don’t care.” It is a bit unnerving.
I asked my therapist, “Am I numbing? Am I avoiding? Or is this truly surrendering?”
So we did a simple curiosity exercise that one of our Reset therapists, Anna, has been sharing with our team. It goes like this:
Find an object, situation, thought, or feeling to focus on
Begin with observing, “I notice…”
For me, I noticed spaciousness, quiet, and an internal stillness
Then, “I wonder…”
I wondered if I was (aforementioned) numbing, avoiding, tuning out or simply fatigued
Lastly, “I think…”
I thought (with my therapist’s help) that perhaps this feeling was acceptance. I thought about all that I noticed I cannot control and how I am no longer putting pressure on myself to do and hustle. I thought about how this past year was so hard but it also taught me confidence in what I am capable of getting through. I thought about how resilient I am and that whatever happens, I’ll figure it out. With this, I can now embody a more steady disposition, despite external events. Perhaps for me, calm is acceptance.
What is wonderful about this exercise is that the moment we drop into this place of curiosity, we start to approach observing from a center, “self” state. In parts work, this is the goal - to be in the center of our triangle, so we can be a witness to our many thoughts, feelings, and reactions in a non-judgmental, calm, curious, compassionate way.
Initially, I wanted to judge and scold my calm because it felt wrong; however, with some mindful curiosity, I was able to be so tender towards this feeling and see the positive in it. I was able to celebrate the path it’s taken to get to this place.
And here’s the thing - even in our moments of distress, we can pause and create space for wonder. Whether it is in response to an angry colleague, disgruntled family member, tantruming toddler, disconnected spouse, or grumpy stranger, we have the opportunity to give ourselves peace. Try it on: I notice, I wonder, I think…
Let me know how it goes.
As always, thanks for being here. It’s better together.
Hugs,
Kerry
And this week’s TGIFs…
TOOLS - I’m all about parenting hacks and this fun timer for teeth-brushing time has my kids actually excited about dental hygiene.
GRATITUDE - Neighbors. When our travel plans got canceled due to the storm, we had our neighbors around for easy hanging. I’m so grateful for the validation and connection that comes with people who share the same life stage.
INNOVATION - The Not Alone Challenge. This is an incredible resource for anyone to share tools with those who need this reminder. You are not alone.
FEELS - In times of compassion fatigue, overwhelm, and despair…well, this poem hits well. A reminder that each one of us matters, our actions matter and we are each powerful.
