The Truth about Challenging Seasons and Difficult People
By Kerry Biskelonis, LPC, RYT
Last Updated 03/10/2026
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What is the role of challenging seasons and difficult people in our lives?
Reflections on Seasonal Transitions
Where and when have I noticed the beauty of spring?
Entering into March felt like a breath of fresh air — I saw signs of Spring and hope in many places: a rainstorm instead of ice or snow, a cardinal on an outdoor run, the smell of mud, and the increasing sounds of birdsong. Along with these notable shifts as a new season arrives, I also felt March come in with a surge of new energy.
An observation of change and a ritual for transition
I read from many teachers that the first couple of months of 2026 were meant to be a last-ditch effort to shed, slough, and let go. The remnants of the “year of the snake” were still reverberating until the March 3rd lunar eclipse, bringing with it the energy of boldness, movement, and action. My older son and I even set our alarms to go find the Blood Moon on Tuesday morning - unfortunately, the clouds were in the way - but even cementing this transition with a shared ritual felt purposeful and alive.
Recognizing ongoing challenges and meeting them with an attitude of curiosity
And yet, with all seasons, life continues to life.
Major events disrupted my week, stress built, people challenged me, pressure mounted, doubts crept in, negativity sprang up, anger boiled, and my body tensed. But while in the last few months I would have felt depressed and weighed down by these events, the new energy was allowing me to stay curious and engaged with the sensations — mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
What are some examples of ways I can reset my lifestyle this season?
I recently welcomed some lifestyle resets — leaning back toward a more aligned plant-based diet, opting for some moderately intense cardio, setting stricter boundaries with my phone, diving into spiritual teachings, and letting the clean laundry pile up (my partner wasn’t too fond of that last one!). I noticed that I actually had the energy to make movements and adjustments. So often when we’re in our feelings, nothing feels moveable — nothing, perhaps, other than time.
And so we wait. We’re patient. Can we keep trusting that if we stay connected to ourselves, we’ll see Spring again?
How to Recognize the Value of Challenges in Your Life
With a hard winter ending, I was once again reminded of the importance of challenge in life. My partner said today,
“You ask for patience, and you don’t get patience — you get something hard to teach you how to be patient.”
He was so right. We don’t achieve growth and resilience without some pressure on the system. Discomfort allows us to see what we’re capable of, to build our self-confidence, and to learn how to thrive after we learn to survive through it.
Why is it necessary to have difficult people in your life?
Most notably, this week highlighted for me the importance of difficult people in my life. A few instances had me really stuck in anger and self-righteousness. I just couldn’t shake it, but I kept seeking clarity.
3 Questions to Ask Yourself to Release Feelings of Anger and Frustrations Towards Others
How can I see this with grace?
How can I offer compassion to these people?
What am I missing here that’s keeping me in this low-vibrational energy?
Where can I go to find further clarity?
It was in stillness and patience that the “aha” arose. For me, the practice of yoga and meditation creates the space to connect to deeper wisdom. I’m glad I answered the nudge to cancel Pilates and go to yoga — my favorite teacher was teaching, and the class was just hard enough to get me out of my head.
What do I (re)learn from my interactions with challenging/difficult people?
One of the two people challenging me was my mirror, reflecting back how I was responding to the other situation. We’re dealing with some hard stuff at my kids’ school, and while we know what we have to do, we’ve been trying to hang on for the sake of stability and to avoid disruption. Because accepting and letting go would bring more challenges, we’ve been trying to fit into a system that is no longer meant for us. I was finally able to notice myself playing the victim, blaming the school, when in fact I just needed to release my resistance to change and let it go. It’s not that they were doing anything wrong — it was just that it’s no longer a fit. My trying to make them what they cannot be for me was creating more suffering for everyone.
And when I looked at this situation through the lens of compassion, I could see how the other person might be feeling. They were trying to make a system work for them that is just not meant for them — blaming me — because it’s easier than facing the difficulties of change and uncertainty. With this clarity, I could release all anger and drop into empathy for all parties.
I finally found the grace I was looking for.
What are the benefits of accepting people for who they are?
What we resist persists and creates our suffering.
I was talking to a client this week who'd spent years trying to get a parent to be more loving and engaged — and finally realized that accepting them as they are could replace resentment with peace. It's hard to give up on something you wish could work, but it's even harder to keep forcing something that was never meant for you.
What are sandpaper people?
A wise friend taught me the concept of sandpaper people. These people are difficult — their presence in your life is like sandpaper. It rubs you, creates tension, and even pain. But like sandpaper on wood, the friction is meant to soften and refine.
What is the role of the difficult people in my life?
Difficult people are meant to refine us — to smooth those growing edges, to expose what needs attention, to reveal a more polished version of ourselves.
Sandpaper people are our teachers. They mirror what needs refining. They show us where we have opportunities to grow. Yes, it’s stressful and hard — but it also builds our resilience, our strength, and most importantly, our greater capacity for love.
Final Thoughts and Reflections
I’m ending this week feeling enormously better — lifted, open, trusting.
Life is a beautiful series of sandpaper moments. I hope I can be built into a beautiful, smooth relic by the end — smoothed by all the lessons and meanings brought forward, if I could be so lucky.
Peace, love, and warm hugs.
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Conscious Transparency: This newsletter was edited by AI for grammar, spelling, and sentence structure, but every idea, tone of voice, perspective, and word choice was my own. This newsletter is imperfect because a human wrote it. Thank you for your graciousness.
This week’s Tools, Gratitude, Innovation, Feels
Tools: I’m new to acupuncture, and I’m so happy to have found a new spot that opened in Old Village, Plymouth. The owner, Madelyn, practices Chinese medicine alongside acupuncture and follows a framework for healing that is very similar to Reset’s foundational pillars. The alignment is awesome, and her space is gorgeous. So far, so good, and I’m looking forward to folding this practice into my brain-body healing repertoire.
Gratitude: As mentioned in my post, yoga rescued me this week. As the stress and big feelings built up, I knew yoga would be the breaking down and release I needed. I told my 8-year-old son about this, and he said, “Sounds like yoga makes you feel things you don’t want to feel,” and I said, “Exactly! That is the point!” In that space of breath and movement, what I’ve buried comes forwards and I can find clarity with it all. And that’s just what happened. So grateful.
Innovation: I’m low-key obsessed with near-death experience research, and this week listened to two podcast episodes, read a book, and watched a video about them. If you’ve been hearing more about NDEs in pop culture, it’s not because there are more happening; it’s because the science community finally has a convergence of data to argue more plausibility. To accept NDEs (and therefore the afterlife/consciousness survives after death) is a really, really big shift in approaching life and meaning. I’m going to dive more into all of this, but as a secular spiritual person, I’m having a lot of fun and also finding profound peace.
Feels: Last weekend, I traveled across 3 states to celebrate a childhood friend’s birthday. I sobbed so many times during the weekend, feeling so fulfilled by the energy and presence of these lifelong friends. Unconditional love was taught to me by these friendships - friendships lasting 30+ years - through so much drama and yet still so intact and filled with grace. If you’re feeling low and lonely, reach out to the friends who have been with you through it all. It’s so deeply rejuvenating.
