TGIF | Embrace Yourself: The Path to Self-Acceptance and Belonging
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Dear Community,
I had a week where self-doubt crept it. I was pushed to new growing edges and my vulnerability escalated. The thing is, I was questioning places where I felt I was good enough to belong, putting my own insecurities into focus. So naturally, I tuned in, talked with my therapist, journaled and reflected.
There lies a profound (difficult) truth in the human experience: belonging begins with self-acceptance. Brené Brown beautifully articulates this sentiment, underscored by the transformative power of embracing our true selves. She eloquently states, "Your level of belonging can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance." Indeed, believing in our inherent worthiness gives us the courage to embrace authenticity, vulnerability, and imperfection so that we essentially belong everywhere.
A favorite poet of mine, Cleo Wade, adds: “Shame and judgment only motivate the ego and our insecurities within. This is not sustainable fuel. Stop being so hard on yourself. If for no other reason than because it is a roadblock. It’s the long way. Love. The ability to comfort yourself - to say it’s okay or it’s going to be okay. This is the first step on the path toward real change - the kind of change that transforms your entire life.”
These words are a truth bomb reminder that positive shifts in our lives cannot blossom from a place of shame and judgment. Instead, positive change flourishes in the nurturing embrace of self-love and compassion. By releasing the burden of self-criticism and embracing self-compassion, we pave the way for profound transformation. When we embrace self-acceptance, we notice empowering changes in our reactions and responses to all things around us. We respond from a more grounded, secure and authentic place instead of reaction out of threat, fear and limiting beliefs.
And at the heart of self-acceptance lies the ability to comfort ourselves—to offer kindness and reassurance in moments of doubt and uncertainty. This week I found myself spiraling more because I was also neglecting creating time and space to come back to myself, nourish myself, to simply put my own hand on my heart and breathe words of kindness. I was busy. Life got in the way of my own self-compassion.
The on-going practice of self-acceptance requires dedication, persistence and a shift in mindset—a conscious decision to embrace ourselves fully, with all of our flaws and imperfections. Yea, that second half of the sentence really matters. For me and many of our clients, parts work through The Shame Triangle is a beautiful, tangible representation of how we go about doing this. It's about recognizing that our worthiness is inherent, not contingent upon external validation or societal standards. We do the work to pull apart the many ways in which we’ve tried to ascertain a sense of Self built from the ego and coping mechanisms in compensation for feeling scared and not enough.
There are daily, practical steps too for embracing self-acceptance. Daily affirmations, mindfulness practices, and self-care rituals anchor self-acceptance, grounding us in the present moment and fostering a deeper connection with ourselves. By prioritizing our well-being and nurturing our innermost selves, we create an internal container - a space where we can truly belong, be seen, heard and internally validated. I know for me, it is in the moments of stillness and quiet within myself that I feel most connected and can affirm my worthiness. I hear the kind, wise voice from my inner self and embody her comforting reassurance.
Lastly and equally important, cultivating a supportive community can further enrich our journey toward self-acceptance. Surrounding ourselves with individuals who uplift and celebrate our authenticity fosters a sense of belonging that transcends external validation. When we are not lost in the noise around us of gaslighting, comparison, competition, and superficial acceptance, we give ourselves an opportunity to move towards self-acceptance and belonging from a place of security.
And remember, self-acceptance is not a destination but a continuous journey marked by growth, resilience, and self-discovery. With each step we take toward embracing our true selves, we inch closer to a profound sense of belonging—a belonging that emanates from within and radiates outwards, enriching the lives of those around us. When we are not searching outside of ourselves to feel enough, we shine brightly enough to model confidence and self-assuredness to others. It’s a process. It’s one that I still get tripped up on. Humanness…
As always, thanks for being here. You’re never alone.
And this week’s TGIFs…
TOOL - My little sis and I were recently talking about the power of trees - grounding forces that we can hug, touch, and can hold us. If you do not have a solid source of this peace near you, find one. A tool of peace and comfort.
GRATITUDE - Speaking of communities, I enjoyed being with my nuclear family this weekend and meeting my sister’s transplanted community in California. It’s so special to meet the people who love your people. I’m so grateful for those humans who love my people. Thank you.
INNOVATION—We had SO MUCH FUN talking about the Reset Framework this week at the UM Depression Conference and expounding the importance of innovative, somatic mental health care. We made groups cry and let some jaws drop with “ah ha” moments—success for a therapist. It was an incredible experience. Thank you to UM for having us!
FEELS - While this weather was terrific early in the week, my body loves the rain and cold again. I wasn’t ready for Spring energy yet. I’m tired. I need to hibernate a bit more before we launch into the next season. If you feel this too, we’re lucky to have winter weather returning… and remember, it’s a season for a reason. Rest is gooooooood.