Rising Up From Depression

Depression. People do NOT like talking about it. Anxiety and stress are way more comfortable to own up to. Why? Well, there is more of a stigma around having depression and less of a collective understanding of what it is.

My son is in his 2nd month now and with my first baby, I experienced postpartum depression. The key indicators for me are emotional rawness, irritability and hopelessness. I notice loneliness, isolation and lack of routine to be big contributors to my depression. Combined with just the sadness in the news, I know right now I’m especially vulnerable. So what do I do to manage my depression?

TOOLS

The biggest lesson I’ve learned in managing mental health is that I have to look at it holistically. What’s going on in my brain is not an isolated experience. It’s related to how my body is feeling, what I’m eating, how I’m moving, who I’m surrounding myself with, how much sleep I’m getting and how I’m managing my stressors.

This is exactly the approach each of our clinicians take with clients at our practice: holistically. So, I first do an assessment of my whole self.

Check out this blog post we recently wrote to learn more about the importance of treating mental health holistically.

GRATITUDE

What you focus on, grows. Have you ever noticed that once you have a negative mindset that everything else takes a negative tone? Especially with information consumption, it’s super easy to just see examples over and over again of awfulness and thus believe that everything in the world is horrible. Or, how you view yourself.

Maybe your kid is struggling, dinner has been take-out 4/5 weekday nights, you missed something huge at work and your face is breaking out. Focusing on these things may paint the picture of you as a failure. But is it true or are we just exercising confirmation bias?

When I’m feeling especially sad, it is a struggle but I have to pull myself to the good. I have to seek out the good. I have to notice the good people, events and experiences around me. I take time to reflect on the good in my life.

I also do a mini-meditation of Loving Kindness to send more good out in the world. This helps clear my own mind and also makes me feel like I can control some positive output of energy.

Check out our blog posts on getting your own meditation practice started and why meditation can be SO powerful for mental health.

INNOVATION

Depression is complex. Sometimes life just gets to be too much and we break down. Sometimes it’s a series of tiny traumas that you’ve buried but then one more trauma or trigger is a catalyst. Sometimes it’s related to other health concerns. Scientists have done amazing work at looking at the contributing factors of depression, and it’s not a clear formula.

But what is universally accepted is that everyone can usually determine their own early signs. One of my favorite books is Lost Connections. I really relate to this premise that it’s the loss of connection to myself, others, the environment, outdoors, food sources, my purpose, my body among others that can contribute to depression. For me, this is right on which is why postpartum is an especially difficult time for me.

Also, a PANDEMIC can be pretty wicked for depression-vulnerable folks. #amiright?

FEELS

Depression is real. The reason there is such a stigma is because people can be told that it’s “all in their head” or to just “think positive thoughts”. Depression takes a toll on your ENTIRE body. It makes you feel so stuck that even trying to think of the good or meditate or exercise or socialize is just too much. Sometimes depression takes over and all you can do is lie in bed. And that’s okay.

For me, depression comes in waves and if I can have enough awareness of the symptoms, I can typically manage it so it doesn’t become a persistent mood. And when the wave comes? I allow myself to cry, veg with a book and talk it out. Permission to sit with it is so important.

And I accept that this is just one of the things I struggle with and have to be proactive to manage it. I name my depression, own it and accept that it’ll always be lurking. I’m not ashamed of it. Like with any illness or disease, we must accept the reality of its persistence and learn how to cope.

It may feel unfair or frustrating or downright annoying, but it’s just a part of my story. And I’ve learned to be okay with all the parts of my story- the good and the hard. Hopefully you can too.