The Power of the Messy Middle: Why Life Isn't Meant to Be Perfect (Copy)
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In a world that rewards hustle, glorifies productivity, and praises the people who never seem to stop, rest can feel like a luxury—or even a rebellion. But what if rest isn't a break from real life… what if it's the key to living it?
A Vision of Restful Living
Imagine this: It’s Sunday morning. You sip coffee on the porch, phone face-down on the table. You go for a jog, lose track of time, make a simple lunch, and curl up in a hammock with a book. Later, you catch up with a friend and give the conversation your full, uninterrupted attention. By evening, you swim laps, reflect on the day, and feel—calm.
This isn’t a fantasy. It’s a nervous system at peace. It’s what it looks like to live in a “Sunday state of being”—present, grounded, intentional. And in our culture of constant striving, this kind of rest is nothing short of radical.
You Have Permission to Rest
Here’s the truth: you have permission to rest. Even if you’re overwhelmed. Even if the to-do list is endless. Even if the world keeps telling you to do more, earn more, be more.
But for many, that message feels impossible. When you're juggling bills, caregiving, work demands, and a general sense of instability, rest doesn’t just feel indulgent—it feels unsafe.
That’s why this conversation is about more than self-care. It’s about the nervous system, generational trauma, and the stories we’ve inherited about scarcity and survival.
When Basic Needs Aren’t So Basic
Let’s acknowledge the reality: in many places, basic needs like childcare, healthcare, and housing are anything but accessible. If you’re in active survival mode, this post isn’t here to pile guilt on top of exhaustion.
But there’s something important to understand from global happiness research. Countries like Denmark, Norway, and Finland consistently top the charts—not because they work harder, but because their social systems meet basic human needs. When people don’t have to choose between groceries and medication, they can finally rest.
That rest isn’t laziness—it’s safety.
The Nervous System’s Legacy of Scarcity
Many of us are living in a state of chronic hyper-vigilance, even when we're technically “safe.” Why? Because the fear we carry isn’t always ours.
It’s inherited.
Maybe your grandparents survived a war or the Great Depression. Maybe your parents were immigrants who built a life from scratch. Maybe your ancestors endured slavery, genocide, or forced displacement.
Their survival required constant alertness. That vigilance lives on in your nervous system—whispering (or shouting), “You’re not safe unless you keep going.”
But what if that story is outdated?
The Trap of “More”
In today’s culture, we’re told that more is the solution: more money, more hustle, more success. But often, “more” just adds pressure. More income means more responsibilities. More visibility brings more scrutiny. More stuff leads to more maintenance.
And still, the anxiety persists. Because the root cause isn’t lack—it’s dysregulation.
Unless we address what our nervous system believes about survival, no amount of external achievement will bring peace.
Rest Is Not Laziness—It’s Regulation
Rest doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means you’re allowing your body and brain to remember that you’re safe. From this place of nervous system regulation, you can think clearly, connect deeply, and make intentional choices—not reactive ones.
You start responding to the pace of your actual life, not the urgency of inherited fear.
This is the heart of the “Sunday state of being.” It’s not about idleness. It’s about enough-ness. And from that place, everything changes.
The Revolutionary Act of Rest
What if rest is one of the most powerful forms of resistance in a culture obsessed with speed, productivity, and scarcity?
What if choosing to be content, to slow down, and to honor your body’s natural rhythm is the most radical thing you can do?
This isn’t about ignoring responsibilities. It’s about making space for reflection:
Is this fear mine, or did I inherit it?
Am I reacting to real needs or to outdated survival patterns?
What if I’m safe enough to rest, right now?
Rest Is Your Birthright
If you have shelter, food, and a relatively safe environment—even if things feel tight or uncertain—you have permission to rest.
You can leave your phone behind and walk.
You can read without guilt.
You can say no to opportunities that drain you, even if they promise more status or income.
Your ancestors fought to survive so you could have this choice. Honor them by choosing not just to survive—but to thrive.
Final Thought: You’re Not Alone
This original newsletter arrived in your inbox a little later than usual. Why? Because I chose to rest instead of pushing myself to send it by dawn. That, too, is part of the practice.
You are not alone in this. We are all connected in our healing. Let’s build a world where rest is not only allowed—but celebrated.
This week’s Tools, Gratitude, Innovation, Feels
Tools
Try this simple practice: Before making any decision this week, pause and ask yourself: "Am I responding from fear or from wisdom? Is this choice coming from my actual needs or from inherited anxiety?" Notice what comes up without judgment. Awareness is the first step toward freedom.
Gratitude
A few weeks ago I was feeling really fearful about Reset and the vulnerability of our growth. I noticed myself doing so much more - things I shouldn’t have been doing. When I changed my mindset to abundance and gratitude and RESTED, I noticed a greater impact on the business. Every time a new client asks to work with us, I say 5 times, “thank you”. I wake up saying “thank you for this life”. I go to bed reciting all I’m grateful for. I sit back and let gratitude flow. In some magical way, it’s working.
Innovation
What would your life look like if you truly believed you were safe enough to rest? Not permanently, not irresponsibly, but regularly? What would change about your daily choices, your relationships, your work? Journal on this. Let yourself dream.
Feels
This week, my dear friend and brilliant doctor, Dr. Aarti Soorya, joined our team for training. She taught us the proper way to breathe, and oh boy, was I not doing it right! Since her presentation, I’ve been feeling into my big breaths and tuning into how they feel throughout my system. Ask your Reset therapist about it—they’ll love to demonstrate. It feels so good.