What the Mental Health Field Gets Wrong About Depression
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Depression is one of the most commonly diagnosed mental health conditions in the world—but that doesn’t mean it’s well understood. Too often, the mental health field reduces depression to a list of symptoms and diagnoses, overlooking the deeper roots of the pain.
At Reset Brain and Body, we believe depression isn’t just a chemical imbalance or something to be managed with medication alone. In many cases, it’s a response to unresolved trauma, disrupted attachment, and nervous system dysregulation.
Let’s explore what the mental health field often misses about depression—and what needs to change.
A Common Story: When Trauma Gets Overlooked
Recently, I had a call with a potential intensive client. She had been in and out of mental health care for decades, diagnosed multiple times, and prescribed various medications for her chronic depression. Despite all that care, one essential question had never been asked:
“Was your mom’s pregnancy planned?”
That one question unlocked a powerful realization about her early attachment wounds—specifically, the preverbal trauma of being unwanted or unexpected. She had grown up in a household where emotional safety was never guaranteed. Her depression intensified in adulthood during moments of abandonment, rejection, or relational instability.
And yet, no previous provider had explored these foundational pieces of her story.
Depression and the Nervous System
When we carry unresolved attachment trauma—especially from infancy or early childhood—it creates a deep-seated sense of insecurity. These wounds live in the body. They impact how we show up in relationships, how safe we feel in the world, and how resilient our nervous systems are under stress.
When our emotional needs are not met early on, or when we are made to feel unwanted or unsafe, our nervous systems develop in a heightened state of stress. Over time, this stress builds. When it becomes too much to bear, the nervous system shuts down—and what we often label as depression is actually a form of survival.
This isn't pseudo-science or speculation. It’s neuroscience. Trauma and attachment injuries affect our brain chemistry, immune systems, and long-term mental health. And yet, most diagnostic tools in mental health don’t account for this. They focus on symptoms, not root causes.
At Reset, we often say that if we could throw out the DSM, we’d replace most diagnoses with some combination of “childhood trauma” and “nervous system dysfunction.” Because that’s what we actually see in the people we serve.
Why the Hard Work Gets Avoided
Doing this deeper work isn’t easy. It takes courage, vulnerability, and patience. One male client recently said to me, “I know I have to do this work, but I don’t like it. It’s exhausting and not fun.” And he’s right—it is hard. But the alternative is staying stuck in chronic patterns of rage, anxiety, and depression.
For many men, this work is especially difficult. Our culture has conditioned men to avoid vulnerability. Shame, sadness, and insecurity are often masked by anger, control, and criticism. Unacknowledged depression in men can show up as blame, denial, or emotional withdrawal—not because men are weak, but because they were taught to survive that way.
It’s not about fault. It’s about awareness. We all have a responsibility to get curious about what’s underneath our symptoms, even when it’s uncomfortable.
The Bigger Picture: Systems and Generational Trauma
This isn’t just about individuals. We live in a society that doesn’t adequately support parents or children. We lack family leave policies, accessible childcare, and systems that value emotional development. Our culture often blames individuals for their mental health challenges without acknowledging the systemic and generational context that shapes them.
Add to that the intergenerational trauma passed down in our cells. Research now shows that trauma alters the microbiome and stress responses we inherit. Many of us are biologically wired to be more sensitive to stress, more prone to anxiety, and more likely to shut down in the face of emotional overwhelm. This inherited trauma is not our fault—but healing it is our responsibility.
So, What Needs to Change?
To shift the way we approach depression, the mental health field—and all of us within it—must:
Ask better questions.
Go deeper than symptoms.
Acknowledge the impact of early attachment wounds.
Consider trauma as a primary root of depression.
Support nervous system regulation, not just symptom relief.
Create safe, compassionate spaces for the hard work of healing.
Providers must be trained to look beneath the surface, and patients must be supported in exploring the full arc of their stories—from the womb, through childhood, and into the present day.
This is how we move from management to transformation.
A Call to Compassion and Curiosity
If you’re struggling with depression—or supporting someone who is—try to look beneath the behavior. Ask what pain might be living underneath. Seek out providers who understand the role of trauma and attachment in emotional well-being. Be willing to do the deeper work, even when it’s difficult.
And for my fellow providers: listen carefully. Ask different questions. Go beyond the checklist and truly see the person in front of you.
Depression is not a label. It’s a message from the nervous system. Let’s be brave enough to listen.
Looking for a therapist who can help you explore your story with compassion and depth?
Reach out to our team at Reset Brain and Body to start your healing journey today.
This week’s Tools, Gratitude, Innovation, Feels
Tools: Ah, what a good cry does for our system: a release, a settling, a cathartic reaction that is helpful. These two videos did me (and my sweet husband) in this week, and I want to share them with you as a tool for release. If you need a cry, want a cry, just want to FEEL something. Video 1 & Video 2.
Gratitude: I’m grateful for the men redefining what it means to be a man. I’m thankful for the soft cooks, the sensitive dads, the stay-at-home dads, the men in therapy, the soulful teen boys, the writers, the dreamers, the artists, and the boys demonstrating kindness over competition and collaboration over chauvinistic behaviors. I’m grateful to the parents raising feminist boys. I’m grateful for letting boys cry, feel their feelings, and unmask themselves so that they can be and feel everything authentically.
Innovation: There has never been a more important time to raise the next generation of men. As a #boymom, I feel a deep sense of responsibility to bestow graciousness, kindness, sportsmanship, and creativity on my children. Every day, I seek opportunities to connect them to their feminine side, to embrace aspects of femininity, and to encourage them to connect to things like empathy, compassion, intuition, creativity, nurturing, collaboration, and emotional intelligence.
Feels: Men and allies of men, I want to encourage tapping into your feminine energy with intention. This can mean getting into nature, finding a creative outlet, journaling, meditating, or practicing body-based slow exercises like yoga and tai chi. This month, try just one thing new that embraces your feminine energy.