Five Ways to Balance Your Child’s Wellbeing and Your Own Self-Care—and Why It’s Essential for Mental Health

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Imagine it’s the first week of summer break. You’ve heard “I’m bored!” for the 50th time or another chorus of “Mom!” or its remix, “Mom, mama, mommy, bruh!” and you’re about to lose it. Whether you’re parenting solo, co-parenting, or raising kids with a full village, it can be challenging to balance the wellbeing needs of your child and your own self-care. Too often, your own needs take a backseat or go out the window completely.

Why Prioritize Your Self-Care as a Parent?

The simple answer: it’s important. Your wellbeing matters. I remember reading a message on a teabag over a decade ago, it said, “Nurture yourself because you and those around you will benefit.” It has stuck with me all of these years because at the time it was a novel concept. By taking care of myself, it would not only benefit me, but those around me. Mind blown. Most parents want to be wonderful parents and often believe good parenting requires self-sacrifice. The thing is, balancing the needs of your child(ren) and your needs is crucial. In this post, we'll explore five effective ways to find that balance—supporting your child’s wellbeing while also taking care of your mental and emotional health.

1. Start a Simple Morning and Evening Routine

The Importance of Routines:

Routines create stability, reduce stress, and can be grounding centering for you as they give the space to self-prioritize amid the chaos of parenting. Simple routines can provide peace and intentionality while creating a sense of control and calm for both you and your child(ren).

How to Implement a Routine:

Keep it simple! Small, achievable habits (eg., morning meditation or yoga in bed, morning journaling, or a wind-down bedtime ritual) can help create a sustainable rhythm for you. Focus on simplicity so that the routines don’t become another stressor for you.

2. If You’re Experiencing Burnout, Therapy Can Help

What Burnout Looks Like for Parents:

Parental burnout can manifest in many ways – physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion from ongoing stress and overextending oneself in multiple areas (including parenting, work, social, etc). It's common and nothing to be ashamed of.

The Impact on You and Your Child(ren):

Unchecked burnout can leave your cup bone dry and empty, leaving you feeling disconnected and depleted. This manifests as less patience, less presence, and less able to care for yourself or your child(ren) effectively and empathetically.

How Therapy Supports Parents:

Therapy offers a supportive space and tools to help you recognize signs of burnout early, process stress and residual feelings, while helping to develop appropriate coping strategies. Therapy, starting with a conversation with a licensed mental health professional dedicated to supporting you on this journey, can provide you a nonjudgmental, safe (and brave) space to reflect, regain perspective, and rebuild your energy so you can show up for your child(ren) and yourself with more compassion and clarity.

3. Delegate, Ask for Help, and Say No

Why Delegating Matters:

Many parents carry the unrealistic expectation that they must do it all, for everyone, which leads to exhaustion. It’s more than okay to delegate household responsibilities, childcare, and other tasks to others – whether it’s a partner, family member, or even paid help. It’s important to note that not everyone has the financial means to hire paid help. We are sensitive to this fact.

Ask for Help Without Guilt:

Please know that it is okay to reach out to others in your community or village for support, whether emotionally or practically. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness.

Say No with Confidence:

As therapist and author Nedra Glover Tawwab says, “No is a complete sentence.” Overcommitting can create stress, take away valuable time with your little people, or keep you away from the interests that are true passions. It can also lead to resentment and burnout. If saying no is a challenge for you, it might be a great starting point for you to discuss with your therapist.

4. Connect with Others to Avoid Isolation

Parenting Can Feel Lonely—You’re Not Alone:

Parenting, especially solo parenting, can feel isolating. Whether you are experiencing middle of the night feedings or you have a child with specialized needs, social connections are incredibly important. Help maintain a sense of community, receive emotional support, and gain perspective through socializing with friends, family, and other parents.

Make Time for Social Connection:

Balance between alone time and time with others is important. Nurture the relationships that bring you joy, peace, and understanding. Whether it’s a quick phone call, texting a friend, going for a walk, or chatting during a playdate at the park—can be just what you need.

5. Prioritize Rest and Recharging

Why Rest Is Essential for Parents:

It’s easy to overlook rest when your to-do list has to-do lists, and yet, not getting enough sleep and rest can impact not just your physical health, but your mental clarity, and emotional wellbeing. Adequate rest can help you show up as the best version of you as a parent to your child(ren). When you are well rested, you are more present and patient, giving your child(ren) the care and attention they need and deserve while also allowing yourself to be kind to your child(ren) and yourself.

Create a Rest Practice:

Schedule rest the same way you’d schedule a doctor’s appointment. Prioritize sleep and naps, engage in relaxing activities (eg., reading before bed, baths, gentle yoga, listening to music, an art project, etc).

Balancing Parenting and Self-Care Starts With You

You and your child(ren) are interconnected, so your wellbeing is too. When you nurture your own mental health and emotional wellbeing, you model healthy habits and emotional regulation, are able to show up more fully and authentically, and ultimately better able to support your child(ren)’s emotional and mental health as well.

Start with small, realistic, actionable steps to create sustainable self-care practices: build simple routines, reach out for support, and rest when you can. By prioritizing your self-care, you can become the best version of yourself, which ultimately enables you to care for your child(ren) as well. Whether you're working with a therapist or exploring tools on your own, grounding yourself in foundational wellness creates the opportunity to nurture both your well-being and that of your family.

Looking for more support on your parenting journey? Let’s stay connected.