Making Sense of a Messy World
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Dear Community,
We made it to March! Schools do not have to mask anymore! The pandemic is over! Russia is creating another World War!
Yea. What a clusterF.
Just when, literally, I was feeling light at the end of the tunnel, Putin decides to wreak havoc sending the entire world into an anxious tailspin. If you’ve found yourself numbing, doomsday scrolling, and many moments of the day yelling “WTF!”, I feel you. Let’s dig in.
TOOLS
When I feel really lost, my first instinct is to look to the people I respect and see what they are saying. This last week I’ve been reading more poetry, listening to my Steady news sources, and actually perusing social media more to just check in.
I wanted to not feel so alone in my fears. I wanted to feel like other people were feeling the same dread, panic, and grief as me. I think this is okay.
It’s super powerful to normalize our experiences, especially when things, as messed up as this war, are happening.
This then led me to these two passages that I hope help you too:
Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am.Sonnets to Orpheus II, 29
—Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower by Rainer Maria Rilke
I once asked a bird, ‘How is it that you fly in this gravity of darkness?’ And she responded, ‘Love lifts me’ —Hafez
GRATITUDE
Whenever there is a crisis, Mr. Rogers tells us, “Look for the helpers”.
This last week, I became a helper. I wanted to do something and do it immediately. Yeah, instant gratification was soothing. I own it.
So, I donated, shipped materials overseas, and donated some more. I’m so incredibly grateful for the speed at which humanitarians and helpers are able to mobilize support and resources in this advanced technological age. The ideas are unique and beautiful in ways to help Ukraine and you can find so many ways to help if that’s how you can feel more empowered and impactful.
INNOVATION
I read recently that an incredible, intuitive way kids process traumas is actually through play and re-enacting the trauma.
There were studies that children who were affected by environmental disasters and then played out their hurricane scenarios over and over with classmates ultimately viewed their experiences as less scary. They were better able to talk about their experiences, process through the embedded trauma, and find resilience.
This feels counterintuitive for most, I’m sure. So many people say, “but we’ll retraumatize them!!!”. Here’s the thing about trauma - our body knows how to heal from it. We have the systems to reprocess and overcome trauma if we allow for the safe spaces to do so and trust in our ability to heal ourselves.
This got me thinking about how important it is for adults and children alike to engage in play. Processes like EMDR, meditative memory regressions, art, and narrative therapy are excellent methods for this in a safe, therapeutic space.
FEELS
And yet in the moments between when we have the space or time to go to therapy, take a walk in nature, laugh with loved ones, watch a sitcom or funny TikToks, we still need to enjoy today for what it is.
In my moments of feeling panic, anxiety, and doomsday dread this past week, I found myself repeating the same thing over the over:
“Right now, I am okay. We are okay. Right now is all I have”.
Present focused thinking.
Trust me, I love to future-trip and plan and visualize and wanderlust, but when the world doesn’t necessarily feel so solid and my future is not so obviously clear, I default to presence.
Right here. Right now.
I breathe. I close my eyes just for a second. I feel my body. I listen to my breath. I am here, right now. All is okay for me, right now. We are okay, right now. I recognize my safety and health with gratitude and compassion.
Don’t squander your privilege right now. Don’t dip into cynicism and hopelessness.
Don’t let your anxieties rob you of your right now.
Right now, at this very moment, you’re still okay.
Hugs.
