TGIF | Embracing Uncertainty: Navigating Life with Mindfulness and Hope
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Dear community,
As the seasons transition into Spring, there's a palpable shift in the air—a sense of urgency and renewal. Perhaps it's the recent solar eclipse or simply the natural rhythm of life, but both my team and I have noticed an increase in clients reaching out for support, some after extended periods of absence. This surge in demand has been accompanied by a personal awakening, prompting me to reflect on the importance of embracing uncertainty and the courage it takes to confront our emotions.
In recent weeks, I found myself unraveling a coping mechanism for anxiety that I had long relied on. This mechanism, rooted in disconnection, provided a false sense of security by diverting my attention from uncomfortable feelings. Instead of facing the uncertainty of the future head-on, I would immerse myself in routines and distractions, seeking solace in the familiar.
When we release control, we're forced to confront the unknown. Within it, we grapple with our feelings about our current circumstances and the uncertainty of what lies ahead. Take, for instance, my current parenting challenges. It isn't easy to fully engage in the present moment, and the allure of trying to control work or other external factors is often more appealing. This distraction through control serves as a way to evade the discomfort of the present.
However, as I delved deeper into the concept of mindfulness through Ellen Langer's newest book, Mindful Body, I began to remember the fallacy of seeking certainty in an uncertain world. Langer challenges the conventional wisdom of predicting outcomes, arguing that such predictions offer only an illusion of control. In truth, embracing uncertainty allows us to cultivate resilience and adaptability, qualities essential for navigating life's twists and turns.
One poignant analogy Langer offers is the scenario of repeatedly pressing the "close door" button in an elevator. Despite our fervent pressing, the doors will eventually close according to a predetermined safety protocol. This futile attempt to exert control mirrors our tendency to seek certainty in the face of uncertainty, often at the expense of our peace of mind.
In remembering this truth, I've returned to a much-adored mantra from writer and activist Marianne Williamson: "Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait without anxiety." This certainty, however, is not about predicting specific outcomes but rather a mindset of trust and acceptance—a belief that, no matter what happens, we have the inner resources to handle it.
This mindset shift requires us to relinquish control and embrace vulnerability, recognizing that true growth often emerges from discomfort. It's about reframing mistakes as learning experiences and seeing adversity as opportunities for personal evolution.
While some may view this optimism as naive, I believe it is essential for maintaining peace amidst life's chaos. As Sophocles aptly said, "It is hope that maintains most of mankind." In times of uncertainty, hope becomes our guiding light, reminding us that better days are possible—even if they may not always be visible on the horizon.
As I continue this journey of unraveling my layers of anxiety, I've found solace in creating space within myself for both the unsettledness and the hope. It's about allowing myself to feel deeply and embrace the full spectrum of human emotions without judgment or resistance.
One song that has resonated deeply with me during this time is "Let it Breathe" by Rob Riccardo—a reminder to let life flow, to make space for all that it brings, both the joys and the challenges.
Ultimately, life is not about avoiding discomfort but about embracing it fully, knowing that within the depths of uncertainty lies the opportunity for growth, connection, and, ultimately, a more meaningful existence.
Remember. You’re never alone in this.
With warm hope and gratitude…
And this week’s TGIFs…
TOOL - As mentioned above, music has always been a return to peace and calm for me. I put this playlist on repeat when I’m really needing to connect within again.
GRATITUDE—I’m just seriously grateful for therapists. My own is such a steady presence but also our entire Reset team and all those who endeavor into this work. To hold space for other’s big feelings while navigating your own is not for the faint of heart.
INNOVATION— If you like any of the content in this newsletter, I offer you Dr. Langer’s work but also the work of Pema Chodron, namely this book which is a mainstay.
FEELS - I also want to validate that the seasonality of our feelings is a thing. For me, periods of lack of sleep and travel usually mean an uptick in big feelings. We can be in periods of expansion and contraction based on a number of factors. I found that I was in a sustained period of expansion that allowed me to enter into another layer of development and awareness. Welcoming the unwelcome, I can trust the process and timing of these emotions.